This is an ancient post, published more than 4 years ago.
As such, it might not anymore reflect the views of the author or the state of the world. It is provided as historical record.
It’s finally done, I’m an apostate. Well, almost
– I just need to get the baptism certificate with proper annotation by
mail. I am no longer institutionally tied to the Catholic Church and it
feels great.
It all started about 3 years ago. I got to the conclusion that I do
not believe in the guy up in the sky, and even if I did – I would not
need the Church for that. What logically followed was that a nice “thank
you Godbye” note was in order, as I strongly disagree with
policy, methods and actions of this organisation.
What was needed
According to a document issued by the Polish Episcopal Conference
(Rules
of conduct concerning the formal act of leaving the Church, original
here), what was needed was:
- a letter of resignation from the Catholic Church;
- baptism certificate duplicate;
- two witnesses;
- at least two visits to the rector of “our” parish.
Two, as during the first visit one is supposed to reveal the will to
leave, rector then has to (according to the document above, and I
cite):
(…)should in a personal, full of concern, pastoral conversation
establish what are the real reasons for such a decision and with love
and prudence try to change that decision and awaken faith seeded in the
sacrament of baptism. Hence as a rule the act of apostasy – if it goes
through regardless of undertaken efforts – should not be done the same
day the person wanting to leave the Church announces their intent to the
priest, but after a time rector prudentially sets for making the final
decision, having such dire canonical consequences.
Apparently nobody seems to care that when I decide to take apostasy
the last thing I fancy doing is “a personal, full of concern, pastoral
conversation” with a representative of an organisation that I am trying
to leave.
Preliminary steps
I got the baptism certificate, found a few templates of
the letter (sorry, they’re in Polish only), based on those I created
a short, succinct version and gone to the rector. That last thing was
not an easy task, as the poor overworked man only had a single duty hour
on a single day of a week, and exactly when every normal working person
is either at work, or at school.
That, I suppose, should be a good sign of priest’s
“you-are-a-mere-supplicant” take on our case, but I must have ignored
it. After all, the conversation was supposed to be full of “love and
prudence”…
First
StationConversation
Obviously, rector was not amused. Thankfully I don’t recall all the
details of our conversation, but I do remember that: 1. an attempt was
made to convince me that a person not heeding the One True Faith is
completely irresponsible, immoral and generally a scoundrel; 2. having
taken a course in Logic (and a good one at that) I was shocked to
discover that a person in such a high office as the rector, being in a
position of authority to many, is unable (unwilling?) to comprehend the
difference between an
implication and if-and-only-if.
All in all it was both funny and scary. The “personal and full of
concern” conversation consisted of him announcing his truths and their
supposedly “obvious” conclusions, after which I in a calm manner was
showing the gaping holes in his reasoning (no, I will not agree to
an assumption that if I am Catholic somehow automagically that makes me
moral; and even if I did, it still does not follow that only Catholics
can be moral!..); after that the priest would either repeat his
reasoning or pound his fist, or – for added rhetorical effect – do both
in any order.
Basically the whole conversation was lost time, as rector finally
just stated that my letter was too short. Simple statement of intent of
leaving the Church is not enough, one “needs to justify”. I’ll just
quote here in response:
Engaging with world-view issues of third parties or justifying to
another person one’s religion is in our opinion unacceptable in a
law-observing state. It is also not required in other countries.
– Polish Association of
Rationalists.
Long break and a nudge
After that delightful conversation I didn’t get back to the topic for
about 3 years. I didn’t want to drag my witnesses to the end of the
charted lands (where I lived) just to hear, e.g., that the justification
must be different. Besides I just lost interest. In making any further
contact with rector, for example.
Then one day a friend
reporter from Sweden wrote that she’s going to Poland due to
impending Polish EU Presidence and is supposed to write a few articles
on social issues (including the Church) – and might I know anybody that
would be willing to do apostasy and go on record with it? I asked
around, suggested her to write to the Polish Association of
Rationalists, and when her desperation to find somebody reached it’s
zenith – “ah, what the hell” (sic!), thought I, and we decided I will be
the guy.
A long expected party
This time I was prepared perfectly. I had three witnesses (one of
whom decided at the last moment); I had my (Catholic) girlfriend by my
side; I had two Swedish journalists on-board; and I had the letter, calling on the canonical code,
the Freedom of Religion Bill, and the Protection of Personal Data
Bill (and here is a pdf version; sorry, both
in Polish). I have established the “working hours” (up 400%! now whole 4
hours a week!) and the whole gang was afoot with the idea that – after
all the sacraments I took – the time is high for my first
profanment.
When we got there we were treated with 25 minute wait, a procession
(basically about 20 people walking around the church) and some 2 persons
waiting in line.
When our queue came I entered the parish chancellery, the rest of the
group with me; I tried to explain the rector who all those people were,
but he got extremely agitated (taking a photo by one of the Swedish
journalists was a bit counterproductive in the circumstances) and showed
everybody but me and the witnesses the door (while loudly stating his
disapproval and waving his finger).
Insulting Comrade as a
supplicant
Either way we got straight to business, I took four copies of the
letter out and stated that I would like the additional witness (the one
that decided late, so her name was not printed on) to write in; It was a
bit superfluous, but I wanted her to be part of the process too. Then it
started and Logic raised its ugly head once again.
Namely, the rector asserted that there should be just two witnesses.
I steadfastly stood by the notion that there should be at least two – so
that there can be three. After quite a bit of back-and-forth between the
two of us (“nowhere does it state that there has to be three
witnesses!”/“yes, but nowhere does it state that there cannot be three
of them.”/“but here it states that there should be two!” and so on and
so forth) I used the “proprietor” argument: this is my
document, prepared by me and presented to you, but I retain the right to
change it and make it look the way I wish. And this is the moment we got
our first great quote!
You are a mere supplicant here and you should act
accordingly.
To be honest I was completely awestruck. First thought: get out, shut
the door. But too long it all took already, so as calmly as I was able I
explained that “I must strongly protest what has just been said”, that I
am simply exercising my constitutional rights, and that in no way, shape
nor form am I a supplicant here. But I decided to back off the “third
witness” thing, abiding the age-old rule that “one should not argue with
a fool; he will be brought down to fool’s level and beaten with
experience”.
A short verification of identities ensued, followed by re-writing of
witness’ data by the rector (even though part of that data was already
present on the papers), and finally – signing.
During the whole visit a discussion was underway and I – as
surprising as it may seem I do not have much to do with priests –
habitually kept calling the priest “Sir” (instead of “Priest” as is
apparently customary), to what he vehemently protested. That caused next
two great quotes. After yet another “Sir”…
Stop or I will start calling you Comrade – that
caused short bursts of laughter from witnesses’ direction. I simply
opened my arms and said “please do”. Unfortunately he was unwilling to
take that opportunity.
And the third great quote, after yet another “Sir” in place of
“Priest” – Stop offending me! Things should be called by their
true names.
That was the quote I honestly did not know where to start
with. First, never ever in the Polish language and culture calling
anybody “Sir” was considered offensive; quite the contrary, it was an
expression of some elemental, fundamental respect. Second – oh how
tempted was I to indicate that had I wanted to call things by their true names,
precisely that would be something that rector could feel offended
with!..
But the papers have already been signed, I got my copy, so we went in peace.
Summary and conclusions
After the whole exercise a few conclusions come to mind. First,
apostasy in Poland is an extremely arduous process, requiring closer
contacts with genuinely troublesome people. Not much fun. Conversation
with the rector cased sudden outbreaks of facepalm every single
time. Bureaucracy is absurd – do I really need to go,
in person, to my baptism parish, then two times to “my” parish (which
could be miles and miles away) simply to leave an organisation I never
actually said I want to join (the decision was made for me in
infancy)?.. Then there is the royal treatment one gets from the people
one has to talk to – as a supplicant, a scoundrel, an immoral person.
“With love and prudence”.
Nevertheless I believe I made the right choice. Now nobody can
manoeuvre me into anything faith- or Church-related. Church statistics
(counting the “number of baptised”, as manipulative as it is) as far as
I know will sadly still include me, but fighting that is the next
step.
Report based on my apostasy will be published in a Swedish newspaper.
As soon as that happens, I’ll link it here.
Thanks
I believe I should thank a few people:
- Pixel, Kasia, piorek, Kondzi,
Sasza, czesiek – thanks for the
support and the will of being my witness (and actually doing that where
applicable);
- Basia, My Dear Parents – for support and understanding, discussions
and conversations, openness and positive take on it all;
- Kinga and Kalle – thanks for the nudge and going along with the plan
in a fun and relaxed manner.